After Sunday’s message, I began walking through my childhood and considering what my greatest childhood fear was. Though I prided myself on being tough and unshakable as a child, there was one thing I dreaded: small spaces. I was very claustrophobic and did not like the thought of being buried alive or trapped. Luckily, or unluckily, for me, my sister made it her life goal to use me as a testament to the capability of exposure therapy.
One winter while we were making snow forts, she and a friend told me to go into the middle of the fort to test the size. Once I was fully in the fort, they shoved a bunch of snow in front of the door and I was stuck in the pseudo-igloo. It was terrifying, but I was able to calm myself down enough to get my wits about me and dig myself out of the fort.
I learned two lessons that day: not to listen to my sister when she tells me to go into a snow fort and with God at my side, I would be able to persevere through anything.
Though I have overcome my fear of small spaces after that experience and I have an awareness of God’s presence and protection, I still am plagued with other fears. Fears of what the next day, week, month and year will bring. Fears that keep me up at night and enter my dreams. Fears that are rational and irrational. I cannot help but be fearful for it is, as Micah noted, a blessing to be able to anticipate future events. And, though I continue to have fear, I do not let it envelope and control me.
I understand that, with God at my side and in my heart, I have the strength to make it through.
I am not dissuaded into believing that I will come through every experience unscathed, but rather that I am not alone. God will aid me through my worries, he will bear the burden of my fears. All I need to do is trust in Him.